When meet with a problem, sometimes the best solution seems to be to take the passive route. One may assume that it would minimize the chance of an argument from happening and may make someone feel like they're just doing the "nice" thing. But most of the time, not clearly setting boundaries only causes that person more problems and thus more stress. By being passive, one provides the person they are confronting with an opportunity take advantage of them, which never ends well. So while it may be easier to take the passive route, if you want to protect yourself it is much better to remain assertive when talking to someone. Being assertive isn't easy; sometimes you can take it one step to far and act aggressively, or you can fall back a step, and remain passive. So, to keep from being either of those, sometimes it is helpful to remember LADDER. L-look at what you want and examine how you feel, A-arrange a meeting; don't randomly confront them, D-define the problem, D-describe your feelings to the other person, E-express what you want clearly, and R-Reinforce the other person by explaining mutual benefits. Remember not to attack the other persons, keep a calm tone and don't feel guilty about asking for something. Even if you don't get what you want, you have set a fair boundary that people can respect.
**LADDER taken from: http://www.mindtools.com/stress/pp/Assertiveness.htm
No comments:
Post a Comment